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Moving from drama to connection

Last week I wrote about the Drama Triangle and moving from this to the Winner's Triangle. This week I thought I would expand on this and focus on actions that we can take to move from one to the other.

Below are diagrams very briefly outlining these, (you may notice I have upgraded my labels on the Winner's Triangle- I needed to!). It is easy to see that the behaviours in the Drama Triangle will not serve us, others or proactively solve problems as well as those in the Winner's Triangle.

Choy's Winners Triangle with Coach, Challenger and Creator around a triangle
Winners Triangle
Illustration of Karpmann's Drama Triangle with victim, persecutor and rescuer shown around  triangle
Drama Triangle

Drama Behaviour

Winner Behaviour

Suggestions for Shifting



  • Take responsibility for your actions and choices.

  • Identify areas where you can take control and make positive changes.

  • Shift focus from blaming others to problem-solving and proactive decision-making.

  • Understand your own emotional landscape and connect with your values.

  • Have the courage to be vulnerable.



  • Empower others to find their own solutions and strengths.

  • Offer support without enabling dependency.

  • Encourage self-reliance and growth by providing guidance and resources.

  • Set boundaries to avoid over-involvement.



  • Challenge behaviors or situations constructively without resorting to blame or criticism.

  • Focus on the problem not the person.

  • Encourage accountability and growth rather than punishment or intimidation.

  • Foster a collaborative approach to addressing issues.

  • Set boundaries about what you will accept and what you won't (and hold yourself accountable to this too!)

These suggestions aim to inspire people to move away from being entrenched in the drama and towards being empowered. When we are empowered we are better able to advocate for ourselves and others, see more possible solutions, show empathy and respect. This enables us to speak with personal authority whilst respecting the authority of others to do the same.

There is enough drama already... let's create less in our own wee piece of the world so we can live happier, healthier lives where we can stretch, grow and make positive change.

Megan Gallagher in black T-shirt  that says be kind to your mind
Megan Gallagher

Megan Gallagher, is a mum, teacher, coach, speaker, PLD facilitator and consultant. She weaves her teaching experience, intense interest and curiosity about the brain, and coaching skills together in all that she does.

One of her greatest pleasures in life is seeing others shining and this is the basis of the work she does. She specialises in coaching for children, families and educators, and shares her expertise in wellbeing, curriculum design, and impactful teaching and learning as a speaker and facilitator.

For more information please check out You can contact her at

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